Illustrator: James Griffin
Published by: Fawcett
Genres: Historical Romance, Bodice Ripper, Cavalier Era Romance
Buy on: Amazon, AbeBooks
Reviewed by: Introvert Reader
MILD SPOILERS 😉
The Book – Heather by Cordia Byers
Why, oh why, did I not listen to the words of wisdom and DNF this lifeless excuse for a bodice ripper? Like the idiot I am, I kept reading on, expecting something interesting to occur.
It turned out things did happen. Another event followed those things. And then another thing happens…
However, none of it has any zing or excitement. It’s all just words on paper.
In Heather, events occur while characters are like marionettes being pulled by strings to the next scene. That’s absolute sacrilege for a bodice ripper.
These are the kind of books that are supposed to be so chock-full of craziness that they madly affect the reader. Either by offending or delighting, or titillating them.
I was a little offended, I suppose. Not because there was anything to upset my “delicate sensibilities,” but because this book was so freaking boring.
Part One: Heather, the Ward
Beautiful Heather Cromwell is brought up as a foundling by a wealthy Marquis. She’s treated as a part servant/part distant relative. Even though it’s not a rough life, it’s not a great one, either.
Heather grows up loving the Marquis’s son, David, although she knows that her love is hopeless.
Enter Sir Nicholas Guyon, the studly and handsome Captain of the king’s guard. He takes one look at Heather and becomes instantly obsessed. Why? Because she’s bee-uu-tee-full, of course.
Did you expect any other reason, like her charm, personality, wit, or even foot-stomping, spicy temper? Egads, no. None of that here. Heather is the blankest slate of a character I’ve read in a long time.
Nevertheless, Heather’s heart is only for David. She despises Nicholas since that’s what the story demands.
Part Two: Heather, the Mistress
After David is assumed dead at sea and the Marquis is arrested for treason, Heather heads to London to live an exciting life in the big city. But Heather’s so dumb; she gets conned and robbed of her money.
Subsequently, she ends up in a whorehouse as Madame’s specialty. Of course, because Heather is so bee-uu-tee-full, she’s not pimped out right away. The Madame has plans to sell her to the highest bidder. Well, guess who that happens to be?
Nicholas has now been promoted to the high rank of British Ambassador to France (that made no sense to me). Heather still hates him, but she realizes his exalted position could benefit her.
So she devises a plan to play along, being Nicholas’ mistress, to save the Marquis. For a virgin who hates a guy so much, Heather sure has a lot of confidence in the magic powers of her cuca.
Part Three: I Don’t Care Anymore
After Nicholas seduces her into his bed, causing passion to stir between Heather’s loins, who should come back from the dead?
It’s Heather’s beloved David, who was held captive by pirates and now has a secret identity as…
Oh, forget it, I don’t care anymore.
Final Analysis of Heather by Cordia Byers
Stuff happens, and Cordia Byers’ Heather ends as these books always do. It’s happily ever after for Heather and Nicholas.
I suppose I should apologize for spoiling this great piece of romantic literature, but I won’t.
This book was so dull. I couldn’t even get excited about writing a review. This just blew big, giant whale chunks.
|Rating Report Card|
HEATHER… She was a golden-haired beauty who’d never known her parents. Brought up as a foundling with David, the son of a marquis, she learned the manners of a lady. All of which helped her when she was captured one night and sold to a fancy brothel.
Captain Nicholas Guyon, David’s friend, who had long lusted after Heather, rescued her from that notorious palace of pleasure. He planned to make her his mistress. He had not reckoned on falling in love with her. But Heather had no intention of surrendering to the man who once had almost raped her…
A lusty tale of fiery passions and deadly intrigue of men at war and women in love…HEATHER by CORDIA BYERS