In Bertrice Small’s book, Skye O’Malley, we meet one of the most legendary heroines in Romancelandia, with numerous husbands, lovers, and many adventures.
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Skye O'Malley by Bertrice SmallRating:
Published: 1980
Illustrator: Glenn Madison
Book Series: The O'Malley Saga #1
Published by: Ballantine
Genres: Erotic Romance, Historical Romance, Bodice Ripper, Tudor Era Romance, Romance with Rape Element, Harem Romance
Pages: 480
Format: Audiobook, eBook, Hardcover, Paperback
Buy on: Amazon, AbeBooks
Reviewed by: Introvert Reader
Spoiler Alert ⚠
Skye O’Malley: The Most Perfect Heroine Ever?
Oh, never, ever was there a lass as lovely as Bertrice Small‘s Skye O’Malley.
She, with raven locks, eyes as blue-green as the Kerry Sea, a tiny waist, impossibly long legs for such a wee girl, pert boobies, and an unbelievably elastic vagina that bounces back to its teen glory no matter how many kids she births (she must’ve done her Kegels!).
Skye is the most beautiful, desirable, enchanting, and “bestest ever!”
But though Skye had learned the womanly arts she had not become a biddable female. Not Skye O’Malley!
The Plot
Any man who looks upon her nubile beauty will be inflicted with priapism.
The sole cure is a ticket of the old in and out of Skye’s mossy cavern of passion—her weeping honey-oven.
Her juicy love grotto, as it were.
Yup, only the cringiest and purplest of euphemisms are here.
The “Queen of Erotic Romance,” Bertrice Small, takes us across the seas and nations to experience the highs and lows—but mostly orgasmic highs—of Skye’s life.
Women, be they the female pirate Grace O’Malley or the Queen of England herself, Queen Bee, are intimidated by her beauty and fiery, passionate nature!
And men… Well, they all want to delve their pulsing lances into her moist, dewy-petaled sheath.
Hero #1
Not one hero will do for our eponymous goddess of a heroine, Skye O’Malley. She’s too hot and needs a lot of thick hose to put out her fires!
Skye, the daughter of an Irish laird/pirate named Dubhdara, is secretly in love with Niall, a powerful lord’s son. Alas, she is too saucy a wench and will never do for such a fine man as he. So the powers that be conspire to wed Skye to a lesser lord’s son, dumb Dom.
Then our hero does something that shocks everyone. On Skye’s wedding night, Niall stuns the revelers when he interrupts the festivities, points his finger at Skye, and says, “I claim droit de seigneur of this woman!”
Which is so goofy and, like the film “Braveheart,” ahistorical, but just go with it.
Afterward, Skye is left to live with Dom, who’s got a giant wang, but only teases Skye with it, as he never lasts long. Besides, it’s incestuous hookups with his sister, Claire, that he prefers.
Occasionally, Dom brings Skye into their little dalliances for bisexual threesomes, although Skye is unwilling. She bears Dom’s two sons before he’s paralyzed and then dies.
In the meantime, Niall was married off to frigid, crazed Darragh, whom he eventually cast aside. She entered a nunnery, so now he and Skye are free to marry.
Hero #2
Uh-uh-uh, not so fast.
Our independent Skye demands to expand her father’s shipping business, and wouldn’t you know it, she gets shipwrecked and loses her memory.
Skye ends up in Algiers to have yet another true love affair, this time with the Grand Whoremaster of Algiers, Khaled-El-Bey. In Bertrice Small’s corner of Romancelandia, Irish-Welsh-Scottish-English women from the Middle Ages to post-Enlightenment were drawn to harems like sharp nails to magnets. (Ouch, lousy metaphor!)
Skye becomes one of his earthly houris, but strictly for his personal use, and not only that but his top bitch, her poon, is so fine, even the biggest pimp in all of “pimpdom” has to put a ring on it.
Niall is this time, married off to a Spanish girl. The innocent virgin Niall seduces and then marries turns out to be the opposite of wife #1. She’s an insatiable nympho who becomes a clandestine whore in a brothel because even with Niall giving it to her three times a night, it’s not enough.
Yada, yada, yada, Skye O’Malley gives Khaled El-Bey a daughter, but he croaks due to harem machinations and jealousy.
Skye, who’s so awesome she can always depend on the kindness of strangers to help her out, leaves for England even though she still has amnesia.
Hero #3
In Britain, she is pursued by another true love: the blond, arrogant Geoffrey.
The green-eyed Lord Southwood makes a wager that he can seduce the mysterious Skye. (Why would anyone bet against that?)
Skye initially spurns him, entices him, and then makes Geoffrey fall for her until… At last, she’s his!
Oh, and Geffy-boy’s married. Skye doesn’t care, though
His wife dies, and soon after, Skye marries Geoffrey, and they are blissfully happy.
Then one day, her memory returns when she sees Niall is almost killed, and she screams out his name. But again, they’re married to different people, so they can’t be together.
I hated Geoffrey and was glad when he kicked the bucket.
He blamed his first wife for being unable to bear sons and threw it in her face. That’s why he abandoned her. His perfect Skye would have no trouble giving him sons, though. Her vag is pH-balanced to accept only the most macho y-gametes (and a rare x-swimmer).
She gives Geoffrey two boys, one of whom dies with his father during the pox.
The Villain & the Genuinely Nice Guy
After Geoffrey dies, Skye is left unprotected. The wicked Queen Bess pounces on this opportunity to hurt her enemy and give a gift to a courtier. She forces Skye to be her beloved Earl of Lessessester, er, Lord Robert Dudley’s plaything.
A little bestiality is hinted at as the awful Robert uses his servants as sex slaves to be used by his friends.
But not Skye. Skye, he will abuse her for his own purposes, not in a fun bodice-ripper way. Dudley rapes Skye until he’s had his use of her, and she’s left traumatized.
After her awful arrangement with Dudley, Skye shies away from men—no, not really.
She gets involved in some smuggling and shipping with another lord, Adam De Marisco, an English baron.
Adam was my favorite of Skye’s men. He was a nice, laughing guy with a beard who made sex pleasurable for Skye again (which, to be fair, wasn’t that difficult of a task).
Adam was like a big teddy bear, with no arrogance, no baggage, just pure fun. He soothes Skye’s emotional wounds and gives her passion without entanglements or complications.
Why she didn’t end up with him in this book is beyond me. Thankfully, he makes a return to the series, and I like what happened with him in the next book, All the Sweet Tomorrows.
Back to #1
Remember that lusty wife Niall had? Well, now, she’s near death because she’s suffering from the pox (not the pox that killed Geoffrey, the other pox).
Not Niall, though. He’s STD-free because that lucky guy gets to be this book’s hero. Due to that, having sex with a woman who’s had sex with hundreds of men doesn’t even make it hurt when he pees. Not even a weird itching!
All things fall into place, so Niall and Skye find their way back into each other’s arms. The dull, boring hero, Niall, gets his beautiful, perfect, sexual, rich, fecund, brilliant (yeah, that last one was a stretch) Skye O’Malley.
Final Analysis of Skye O’Malley
After bearing her assorted lovers and husbands (Six if you’re counting; it seems like more only because, to be fair, Skye does engage in a lot of sex) and five children (with more kids to come), her figure—and her moist cavern of love—remain tiny and petite, unchanging despite age, births, or time.
This book is a romp. Not meant to be taken deeply, because if you do, you might experience heartbreak.
I am so glad I read Skye O’Malley when I was well into my twenties. If I had read this as a teenager, my poor little heart wouldn’t have been able to take it.
One woman having that many men she all truly loved and in such a short amount of time (relatively) in a romance novel!
Thankfully, with maturity comes the ability to relax and not take everything so seriously, and Skye O’Malley is not a book to be taken seriously.
It’s so bad, yet so good, yet so bad… which is the best quality in an old bodice ripper.
I didn’t love Bertrice Small’s magnum opus, Skye O’Malley, but I had a ball reading it. And that’s all that matters.
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| Overall: | 4.3 |
Synopsis:
There has never been a woman like luscious, raven-haired, hot-tempered Skye O’Malley. She is the courageous seafaring captain of her own mighty fleet, and intelligent enough to win a battle of wits with Queen Elizabeth herself. Follow along as Skye O’Malley is swept up in a journey filled with romance and passion that takes her from glittering Ireland, to lush Algeria, to the heart of London in pursuit of a unique and eternal love…
SKYE O’MALLEY by BERTRICE SMALL
Uaually it’s the hero who screws around , but this time it’s the heroine . ..